My New Second Favorite Sport
I'm something of a one-trick-pony from a sporting standpoint. I love the National Football League, and specifically my Washington Redskins, but I've never been able to muster much in the way of interest in other sports. The way I typically explain this to people is by saying that the Redskins break my heart every year, and one abusive sporting relationship is already more than I can take, but the reality is that I just don't find most other sports all that interesting. Baseball bores me so much I bring novels to the games, basketball is only interesting in the last five minutes of the game, and hockey is...well hockey. I quite like competitive martial arts, but try admitting to that in mixed company.
Anyway, all that changed last weekend when I had the opportunity to attend the DC Rollergirls Championship Bout between the DC Demon Cats and Scare Force One. I can say without exception that semi-professional roller derby is the second finest team sport being played in America today. It's got girls, skates, girls on skates, hip checks, shoulder checks, bad puns, good puns, noisemakers and creative bloodletting. If it doesn't replace hockey as America's fourth major sport in the next decade, there's something deeply wrong with people.
The night got started as my favorite team (decided the afternoon before after a glance at the Web site) The Secretaries of Hate tried to get their first-ever win against the Cherry Blossom Bombshells in the warm-up match. The Secretaries were game but undersized, and soon the Cherry Blossoms' blockers were able to impose their will with a series of vicious checks, winning going away in the second half. Apparently I choose roller derby teams about as well as I choose football teams, but whatever. We still we have the best name and the coolest banners. The victories can't be far behind.
In the finals, the unbeaten Scare Force One looked to defend their title against the tough-minded Demon Cats. Scare Force One has a player named Six-Five in Skates, and what was remarkable was not that she was tall, but that she was not all that much taller than the other players on the team. Tough, tough girls. The Demon Cats got off to an early lead, but they could hold off the Scare Force onslaught. Scare Force One pulled ahead in the second half and sealed their third-straight championship.
I'm buying season tickets (if that's possible) next year. If you live in DC and you don't you're dumb.
Comments
But basically two teams of five take the track at the same time. On each team there is a "Jammer" who starts in the back of the pack and tries to pick her way through the "Blockers" to get to the front. After the Jammer gets through the pack once, she circles the track and tries to pass again. She gets a point for every girl she passes the second time through.
It is remarkably easy to follow once it's been properly explained.
Obviously the recruiting pitch is working on me.