KttD: The Contenders - Emma Peel

With the Eight Annual Karaoke to the Death VIII fast upon us, the editors at Dabysan in Hammersmith Palais thought it would be a good time take a closer look at some of the main competitors: their strengths, weaknesses and potential obstacles to taking home Lord Ramsey's Cup.

From the moment Emma first stepped onto grand KttD stage, bad karaoke experts knew that they were witnessing something special. Although her early, probing attempts at earsplitting karaoke lacked focus (Emma would often giggle and give up halfway through songs) her lack of talent was palpable, and frankly a little frightening to the KttD old boy's club. Emma's atonal quality and strange, leaden "dancing" were uncomfortable to watch, and it was pretty clear that if she ever put those qualities together with a well-chosen song, she'd be a force to be reckoned with.

In 2007, the stars aligned. As early as 2006, Emma decided to get serious about her KttD career. Motivated by a passion to break the KttD gender barrier, Emma trained, did her song-selection homework and arrived at President's Day Weekend 2007 a finely honed bad-karaokeing machine. As if that didn't bode ill enough for the other competitors, Emma was actually barred access to the arena on her first attempt, and had to drive an hour through icy conditions to fetch her ID. It was as if the universe had decided to poke an already hungry, agitated tigress with a stick.

The results were predictable. Emma got up and absolutely mangled Phil Collins wretched "Sussudio" in a performance for the ages. You'll never know how many times Collins repeats that lame chorus until you hear Emma's...interpretation of the song. It was the kind of thing that makes you wish you were dead. Like all great KttD performances, it had the effect of making spectators profoundly uncomfortable. Emma won handily, despite a strong push from KttD IV champ Soo.

Emma walks into KttD VIII with all the tools to become the sport's first ever repeat champion, permanently solidifying her role as First Lady of Bad Karaoke.

Strengths: Emma is tone deaf. Now, "tone deaf" is a term that gets tossed around pretty glibly, especially in KttD circles, but it's actually a pretty rare condition. The inability to properly replicate a tone (a deficiency shared by all true KttD contenders) is not the same thing as a gross inability to hear the difference between one tone and another. For Emma, one note is much the same as another, and it shows in her delivery. While other contenders warble in and out of tune throughout their performances, Emma picks one rotten note and sticks with it, for minutes on end. It's impressive, and not in a good way. Also, Emma really doesn't like being up there. Although one of the more naturally extroverted members of the KttCommunity, Emma does not like to embarrass herself, which contributes to a palpable sense of discomfort when she's on stage. Taken together, her unique (lack of) skill set makes her a fearsome competitor, and a perennial KttD favorite.

Weaknesses: For Emma it's all mental. When she's on, nobody can stop her. Which begs the question: Which Emma Peel will we see on President's Day weekend? The focused, driven Emma who scattered competitors like wheat before a scythe in 2007, or the distracted, not-fully-committed Emma who was either unable or unwilling to bring her full potential to bear in previous years. Some speculate that her year with Lord Ramsey's Cup has softened the champion and sapped her natural competitiveness. Fans of the sport hope that's not true, and that we'll see Emma rise to her full capacity in 2008.